Change is hard; it’s probably one of the hardest things we as humans have to learn to accept in our lives. Being able to take a step back from your day to day and realize that you need to make a change, is even harder to do. And don’t even get me started on the trials and tribulations of following through with making that change.
For the last few months, I’ve been struggling with the feeling that something was missing from my life. I couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but I had that empty feeling when I thought about what I was doing with my future. I wasn’t happy. I haven’t been happy for a while. For as long as I can remember, acting was everything, and I mean EVERYTHING – I lived, breathed, ate, drank, and showered movies and scripts and television (oh my!). But lately, it just hasn’t been enough. I still love it, but it doesn’t give me that tingling feeling like it used to.
That’s when I rekindled my love affair with writing. We’d taken a break for a few years after becoming too busy to commit to each other, but the connection was much too strong and I couldn’t risk letting it slip through my fingers yet again. I put pen to paper, highlighter to pen, and fingers to keyboard, and wrote until the ideas filled blank pages on my computer screen, and notebooks aplenty. That exhilarating, tingling feeling came flooding back, and I began to feel more and more like myself again.
That’s when I realized what change I needed to make.
So, not more than an hour ago, I re-enrolled in school. I am officially a student again.
And it’s scary.
Okay, it’s just Continuing Education at George Brown, but it’s a step in the right direction. I can channel my creativity and passion for writing, mix it in with my love of research and learning something new, and in a year’s time, finish a six-course program with a Certificate of Journalism.
Sure, it may only be a piece of paper to some, but to me it’s an accomplishment I know I’ve been waiting a hell of a long time to achieve. And you’re damn right that I’ll be proud to hang it on my wall for everyone to see.
So tonight, I raise my almost empty glass of Sauvignon Blanc, and toast those who have recognized they need to make a change, and I encourage you to do it. Take the plunge. Paint the town red. Dive in head first and learn to swim later.
Nervous? Scared to fail? Absolutely. I’m terrified. But, like the picture above says, “what if you fly?”