When I go to a restaurant and my soup is cold, I tell the waiter.
Why? Well, a) I don’t really like eating cold soup, and b) I’m sure it wasn’t intended on being served cold, so I’d like to get it rectified. When I tell them, the waiter doesn’t choose to ignore me, or proceed to tell me I’m being “overdramatic”, he (or she!) will apologize, and proceed to fix the issue – bring me hot soup.
If the relationship I’m in, whether it be serious, or still in the early stages has fizzled, I should be able to tell him just as easily as telling the waiter about my soup that whatever’s been going on has run its course, but I can’t. It’s drawn out into a long, ultimately awkward process, that usually leads to one person looking ‘crazier’ and more ‘desperate’ than the other.
Okay, whatever. Soup and relationships are two completely different things to talk about, but I almost wish they weren’t. I wish that saying “I’m sorry, you’re great, but I don’t see this going anywhere” was as simple as saying “I’m sorry, everything’s great, but my soup is cold.” Instead, we choose to do the complete opposite and avoid it at all costs, leaving it to stale and get moldy (much like the bread you get with cold soup – mmm).
Why, in an age where most communication is done electronically anyway, is it still so difficult to grow the balls to own up to how you feel, and lay it all out on the table? Hurting people sucks, but holding onto something and avoiding the truth is also hurtful. Just man up, please, and avoid the awkward moments of ignoring a message or two, or being resented for doing something you’re unaware you’re doing. Most of the time, I know I don’t say anything because I’m afraid of hurting someone, or being hurt myself. In the long run, I think it’s okay to be selfish to have closure, some piece of mind, and to finally have the ability to move on.
Being hurt will sting, but you’re only hurting yourself in the end if you don’t get the truth. Hurting doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
Welcome to the club.
There’s like 7 billion of us.