If you’re like me, motivation comes and goes. There are days where all I crave is being productive, and there are days where all I want to do is binge watch Netflix and be absolutely lazy.
These past few weeks, my motivation’s been gone a hell of a lot more than it’s been present. Trying to keep my head above water has been a struggle, but I feel like I’m slowly drowning and I can’t seem to keep afloat; all I want to do, is nothing.
I really can’t put my finger on it, but staying motivated is an artform, and it’s one I have yet to master.
When I was younger, I could sit at my computer for hours and hours, typing words onto a page that really had no importance whatsoever. Whatever came to mind would be written out: short stories, poems, song lyrics, fanfiction.. anything. I’d kill for some free time where I could plot out the next adventure my alter-ego would go on, or scribble out a world that I could escape to if I was having a rough day.
Writing kept me sane. Correction, writing keeps me sane.
But lately, I’m struggling with the writing that I have to do in order to pass my courses. It feels as though writing is becoming a chore instead of an outlet. Granted, that will happen when you have certain things you’re told to write about, but regardless of that fact, I shouldn’t feel like it’s a chore. Whenever I put pen to paper, nothing wants to come out.
Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Zero. Not one little thing.
Perhaps I’m just overwhelmed and not used to being back in school.
Perhaps the issue is greater than the one presented and is just an internal struggle I’m having with myself about life, being 28 years old, back in school and not really where I thought I’d be at this point in my life.
Perhaps I’m just finding it really hard to focus on so many things at once, and something’s gotta give.
Or, I’m just stressed out and don’t know how to handle it all right now.
Whatever it is, it needs to cut itself out so I can get back to getting my work done and my blogging goals accomplished.
On a positive note, I do find it reassuring that the one thing that has remained constant in this whirlwind is this blog. Like I said, writing keeps me sane. My words are out there; I can’t take them back (well I can delete the post, but.. why would I do that and take away the pleasure you all get from reading this?).
So maybe the art of staying motivated isn’t really an art, but just an internal struggle we all face and have to learn to accept. Whatever life throws at us (or stabs through our jugular, whatever) should just be looked at as a learning curve.
Ask yourself this question: what lesson am I taking away from this experience?
If the answer comes quickly, then so will the motivation. If it takes a while to come up with an answer that’s half-decent, the motivation will be the latecomer to the party of life.
But hey, what do I know. I’m just a writer.
Going to find my motivation.